Tuesday, November 25, 2008

Why I Don't Like PUGS!

  1. Awful body odor! UNLIKE most dogs, these oafs have rank armpits and nauseating facial wrinkles that radiate reek up to 5 feet! When Sharon's pug, Reiley, comes within range...well, it's really sickening and one of us has to flee. I would not even know what this odor compares to! Even after a bath, the stench returns in a few days.
  2. These are designer dogs. They were concocted by humans to be 3 things-small,cute, and flat-faced. Otherwise they are almost completely dysfunctional. Due to their smashed faces, they don't breath very well and tire quickly. Don't plan on taking long summertime walks without them needing to stop, rest,drink and do the pug crawl-a ridiculous, goofy ritual where they wriggle & writhe on the grass to cool their belly .
  3. Simple things like eating & drinking become a challenge for these dolts. They eat like pigs with their ravenous heads slamming within the bowl, snorting and sneezing and making a mess of themselves. Water gets all over the kitchen floor after Reiley drinks. Big flat heads just cannot function with any precision. Just getting a biscuit off the floor and into his mouth is tough for Reiley.
  4. They look dumb with their blank stare and lumbering movements. Muffin is the intelligence standard, while pugs are like barnyard animals in comparison. Most dogs seem deficient compared to Muffin. She's a doer, always likes a challenge, and figures out new toys (like the IQube) and situations almost instantly. Duncan (Sharon's other pug) can just sit there licking Reiley's smelly face all day-this is their amusment.
  5. They have an asinine sounding bark. If a regular dog goes "RUFF RUFF" they go "URHHH" "UjerUuhh" - muffled and moronic. Muffin ignores Sharon's pugs and growls at the meat heads if they come too close to her.
  6. Reiley extends his lipstick for just about any reason. Even mundane things like just taking out the garbage seem to trigger his bright pink lipstick and it ain't pretty! Ughhh!
  • OK, there are a few things I can tolerate...they are generally very friendly and non-threatening to people and other dogs. No need to worry about them escaping from the yard because they cannot dig or jump and really have no curiosity about anything outside their limited scope. Reiley does listen when you tell him to go in the kitchen or outside. And I of course they can be entertaining as buffoons often are. That's old dumb Duncan below.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

What's wrong with you???



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